Let Them Lead

Leading, Coaching, and the Mess in Between

I am sitting here in the middle of a mess that is my son’s play area and wondering why I am not able to influence him to clean it up, to own his responsibility. I’m digging into my toolkit, pulling out all the empowering words. I’m being creative, telling him to pretend he’s a digger, imagining he’s on a mission.

Nope. Not working.

I feel frustration creeping in, and I know it won’t help either of us. I also know threats won’t work. I can hear that little voice in my head saying, “Just do it yourself, it’ll be faster.”

Do I want the mess gone? Of course. Can I do it myself much faster and neater? Probably.

But I pause. Because I know better.

This is a learning moment, and I can accept some mess for the big picture.

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Now let’s go to the office.

You’re a leader. And you have a critical responsibility: to grow people. Inspire them. Coach them. Help them step into their own potential.

Let’s get to the basics. How do we learn? Through trial and error.
So, a big part of growing your people is letting them figure it out. Resisting the urge to swoop in and save the day.

Say someone on your team is leading a project update for executive leaders for the first time. You’ve done a hundred of these. You know exactly how to frame it, what slides land best, and where things might go off track. It would be so easy to jump in and take over or quietly rewrite it behind the scenes.

But every time we do that, we rob someone of the chance to grow.

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Leadership happens in the messy middle.

So, what can you do instead to support your people while still getting things done?

Put your coach hat on:

• Review the draft with them, not for them.

• Rehearse together, let them hear themselves speak it out loud.

• Offer guidance, not edits. Ask questions instead of giving answers.

• Encourage them to think through the structure and make it their own.

• Don’t force your version if it won’t impact the end result.

• When the meeting comes, be in the room if needed, but let them lead.

That’s a growth moment.

It may not be perfect by your standards, but it’s how they’ll gain experience, build confidence, and find their voice.

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So what’s key here? Psychological safety.

Your team needs the space to try, stumble, and learn without fear of failure. When you step back and empower them to own the work, you give them that safe space. You show them it’s okay to not have everything figured out yet. You show them it is okay to make mistakes, and fail forward. And when they see you trusting them, they’ll step up in ways you may not expect.

This is where growth happens, for them, and honestly, for you as a leader too.

Remember: You’ve been there. You started somewhere too.

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🌱 Let’s grow. Intentionally. With curiosity.

– Arzu

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